Skip to main content

As If I'd Never Been Away

   The time has come to put ink to quill, and subsequently quill to paper, metaphorically speaking. Now that Christmas, New Year's and Valentine's Day are out of the way, I can get back to where I left off in 2014.

The last 745 days haven't passed without incident. Far from it...

2015

- I turned 28
- Took a trip to the land down under
- Finally won employee of the month outright
- Rode shotgun along The Autobahn
- Lost my wallet on a train
- Celebrated turning 28 1/2
- Bore witness to the magic of the FA Cup
- Burnt a chocolate bar in a microwave
- Hit up NYC


2016

- Turned 29
- Wrote a new poem (see below)
- Failed to master Spanish
- Voted 'Remain'
- Explored South America
- Spent a harrowing 43 hours on a single bus journey
- Made it to 29 1/2
- Trekked Machu Picchu
- Climbed Colca Canyon
- Walked a Puma
- Retrieved my stolen wallet in a nightclub (the replacement wallet to that mentioned above)
- Experienced the sensation of love again
- Saw a waterfall


2017 (so far)

- Said goodbye to my 20's
- Twisted my knee
- Picked up a guitar
- Commenced my search for a new job

   The tragedy is, I wrote about none of it. What the hell was I thinking? WELL NO MORE, I bellow, hoping that isn't what others shout when they get to the end of my post. Henceforth, I'll do what I was put on this planet to do, create literary wonderment, on my own in a dark room, during my leisure time.

   I should note that I'm totally viewing this in my mind as a sequel. We'll call it Tommy 2.0.17. On this subject, two of the greatest sequels of all time, The Godfather Part II and The Empire Strikes Back, did take longer than 745 days to be released, so in that sense, I'm ahead of the game. On the flipside, that was the 70's*, when efficiency can be best described as lackadaisical.

*Technically, The Empire Strikes Back was released in the 80's, however my argument still stands.

Poetry Corner

 Dedicated to all those celebrities whose deaths I failed to report in 2016


Alone he draws breath, the Northern line chunter
Good commute gone bad, butter candy chunder
Creamy filled pellets, imprisoned in his cell
High Barnet through Morden, a lifeless new hell
"Suck it, confused grandad", come taunts at the door
Worthless original, like during the war

Transported back again, toxic mist cascades
Entanglement ensues, during midnight raids 
Mortar and pestle, a maid doth prepare tea
A yearning nostalgia, the chance to be free
"Wake up, you old bat", the fat controller chimes
Demons subside, on this most northern of lines

Labels:
Location: London, UK

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Calling All Office Fans

    Who's been to the Coventry Conference? Ah yes, the fictional Coventry Conference, co-ordinated by the equally fictional Eric Hitchmough . A man whom I've never fictionally met, or even seen, yet know so much about. From his little withered hand, the wanking claw , to his signature catchphrase, ' I don't agree with that in the workplace !' Eric is... and that is what I want.    If I've lost you, I can only assume you're not quite the fan of The Office that I called for in the title of this post, or I'm not the writer that I think I am! Allow me to explain...    T he Office is the single greatest sitcom of all time, sure, so it makes sense for it's legion of fans to have a social outlet to congregate and quote the show to their heart's content. The Facebook group ' Do You Not Know Who ERIC HITCHMOUGH Is' ,  DYNKWEHI , provides such a platform.    With it's mix of quality quoting, imaginative imagery and creative commenting,...
Post a Comment
Read more

"Do Another Blog Post"...

...was the strange demand I thought I heard today, as I walked past a rabble of hoodlums on my way to the Co-op to buy a pre-packaged sandwich for work tomorrow. "OK" I replied nervously, without really considering if I either wanted to or had the time. What followed was a more aggressive "Do another fucking blog post!", from a knife-wielding member of the group. It was at this point I realised I had my headphones in and couldn't make out what they'd actually been saying. I quickened my pace, in fear I'd misread the situation completely and they were high and wanted to sexually abuse me. Given that my blog only has 4 followers it is likely they were talking about something else entirely, but the thought of doing another post had been implanted and as I walked a different route home it was all I could think about. I recalled foolishly mentioning in my my last post that I'd review Potdog , the bunless hotdog, and also create my very own alternati...
Post a Comment
Read more