Skip to main content

Leftovers...

...can often be a harshly overlooked specimen. Walk down any high street in the western world, minus Canada, and chances are you'll pass by a 3 course meal/6 course tasting menu, albeit one made of scraps and other unwanted or misplaced treats. Sadly, the story of these pieces of waste are seldom told.

That is until now! Thanks to Russ and Tom, two frontrunners in the world of discarded food poetry, we're starting see a host of young Byron's from all walks of life chart the rise, and often tragic falls, of a whole manner of food stuff. I present to you Leftovers. With a 7 step rule plan to adhere to, you simply find yourself a tragic case of grub in the street, capture the evidence and write the back story, with the aim of satisfying a 120-strong audience.

My first attempt, included below for your satisfaction, symbolises the immediate aftermath of a long overdrawn breakup (in tortilla chip form.) Despite being overlooked for August's 'Morsel of the Month' it mattered not, as it was actually posted on September 2nd so I'd have probably been ordered to return the trophy anyway: [UPDATE: Awarded September 'Morsel of the Month' on 08/10/14 - Oh, that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh]


Amongst the heatwave, the salsa dance was born
Lightly salted crumbs, lay alone, forlorn
Cool original, dream of summer breeze
Things turn sour, were you a fools tangy cheese?
The hint of a lime, I relish the thought
Jalapeño fire, surely too hot, abort
What of the dip, left in the minute mart?
Oh tortilla, you're breaking my heart

I know what you're thinking; how does one follow up this heartbreaking tale on a whim? Well, quite easily actually. Leftovers, riding on the crest of bumper start to September in terms of submissions, introduced a new weekly feature in which they present the crime scene and 24 hours are allotted for anyone to describe the situation.

Telling a story of greed and power gone wrong - a metaphor for how the "money men" are ruining the once beautiful game of soccer - the words below quite literally speak for themselves. Saying that, you will still have to read them. Sorry:



My work here also utilises the often misused cross-stitch approach, in which the first letter of each line spells out a word itself. The word above, which I admit isn't easy to decipher, is actually McDonald's - a well known burger chain.

Where my participation with Leftovers goes next only time will tell. I'm happy to admit that in recent weeks I've not only found, but have actually photographed a discarded Strawberry Lace. If you're still alive by the time I complete work on this particular piece then you're in for a sugar-coated treat.

<< My (Albeit Brief) Career In Clips... / (Joint) Employee Of The Month... >>

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Calling All Office Fans

    Who's been to the Coventry Conference? Ah yes, the fictional Coventry Conference, co-ordinated by the equally fictional Eric Hitchmough . A man whom I've never fictionally met, or even seen, yet know so much about. From his little withered hand, the wanking claw , to his signature catchphrase, ' I don't agree with that in the workplace !' Eric is... and that is what I want.    If I've lost you, I can only assume you're not quite the fan of The Office that I called for in the title of this post, or I'm not the writer that I think I am! Allow me to explain...    T he Office is the single greatest sitcom of all time, sure, so it makes sense for it's legion of fans to have a social outlet to congregate and quote the show to their heart's content. The Facebook group ' Do You Not Know Who ERIC HITCHMOUGH Is' ,  DYNKWEHI , provides such a platform.    With it's mix of quality quoting, imaginative imagery and creative commenting,...

Dad's Got Kidney Stones...

...which is insensitive of him to say the least. Free lifts to work are completely out of the window for next few weeks, and whilst he struggles through a simple out patient procedure, I've got to get up 45 minutes earlier to catch the bus. That's 5 whole snoozes on a standard alarm clock. Talking of work, there's been some exciting developments in the past month. I'm now 99% certain that it's Audi who employ me and not Aldi , although the fact both are German still leaves me with that indistinguishable nagging doubt.  Secondly, as of next week, ' Tommy the weird temp ' becomes ' Tommy the permanent ' in a new role. It's a radical shake-up, the likes of which haven't been seen on these shores since March 19th 2014. I am of course referring here to Cliff D'Arcy's use of the term 'biggest shake-up' in a headline about  budgets and pensions . It might just be me, but since my meteoric rise through the ranks of the ...

"Do Another Blog Post"...

...was the strange demand I thought I heard today, as I walked past a rabble of hoodlums on my way to the Co-op to buy a pre-packaged sandwich for work tomorrow. "OK" I replied nervously, without really considering if I either wanted to or had the time. What followed was a more aggressive "Do another fucking blog post!", from a knife-wielding member of the group. It was at this point I realised I had my headphones in and couldn't make out what they'd actually been saying. I quickened my pace, in fear I'd misread the situation completely and they were high and wanted to sexually abuse me. Given that my blog only has 4 followers it is likely they were talking about something else entirely, but the thought of doing another post had been implanted and as I walked a different route home it was all I could think about. I recalled foolishly mentioning in my my last post that I'd review Potdog , the bunless hotdog, and also create my very own alternati...